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On May 29th, seven of us set out on a Fund raising ride from Reading down to Lands End, up to John O Groats and back to Reading, to raise money for the NABD. I was This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most exhilarating and memorable. And at the end of it I feel I know this Island we live on a hell of a lot more intimately now.
Everyone else seemed to have bum problems, which I miraculously managed to avoid, but my personal battle was having to work my way through the pain barrier when my hands cramped up on the first and second days. And there was the tiredness factor too.... until you’ve tried it, you can’t imagine what riding a bike for 500 miles a day is like! At every stage, it was a matter of reaching your limits, and then going beyond them, and all completely new territory for me.
Day One
After a 5:30 am start on Sunday from Radio Reading’s headquarters, we arrived at the starting line at Land’s End at lunchtime, in glorious Mediterranean sunshine. Then after a photo-call and stuffing ourselves with Cornish Pasties, a trek all the way back to Bristol for our first night’s stopover. Apart from a cold start to the day, the weather had been great, without a hint of rain (my biggest fear - riding a bike in rain is nasty). A bite to eat and a pint, and then straight to bed with alarm clocks set to 5.00 am, for a 6 o’clock start the next day.
Day Two
The second day turned out to be a cold and wet trip up the backbone of the UK, from Bristol to Inverness.
By our first stop, Colin was shaking uncontrollably it was so bitterly cold! At our final petrol stop off, a mechanical massage chair at just a quid a shot proved a godsend, and pummelled our bodies back into shape for the final leg of the day. I will never forget the look of ecstasy on Linyl’s face as he abandoned himself to the wanton advances of that chair!
At Inverness, we were made to feel like heroes by a fabulously generous and welcoming host, in a palatial setting in the middle of nowhere. There were so many bizarre and other-worldly touches at that wonderful home, from a Trike with Lockheed ejector seats for the passengers being built in the middle of the100ft long lounge, to a roaring open fire in which Phil was able to actually stand INSIDE the fireplace, owls and birds of prey nesting outside the bedroom windows, the constant backdrop of baby quails chirping, to theme bedrooms with four poster beds and fairyland grottoes, and my own bed, so high off the ground that I was worried about nosebleeds, and serious damage if I fell out of bed during the night. In fact when Colin appeared with a vulture perched on his arm at one stage; it seemed quite an everyday event in that spectacular zany house!
Day Three
Although the cramp had subsided, tiredness had really begun to set in, helped by the fact that we partied a little bit longer than we should have in Inverness. On top of that, much amusement was generated from the fact that because of my open face helmet, my face was turning beetroot red from the battering of the wind.
Reaching our goal made the day a real high, after the most exhilarating ride imaginable through sweeping mountain roads in the top end of Scotland, with only a few small villages and mile upon mile of craggy coastland in the 120 miles between Inverness and John O’Groats. That’s what biking is all about!!!!
But after an hour or so’s rest and a quick burger at John O’Groats, it was back on the bikes for the 120 mile trip back to Inverness. Then on again for yet another 240 miles to our stop off for the night at Carlisle. Seven very tired boys went straight to bed without so much as a nightcap!
Day Four
The final day absolutely beggared belief. Torrential rain all day, from 8:30 in the morning, when we set out, till arriving back at Reading at 6:00 pm. That’s from BEFORE most people start work to AFTER they pack up to go home. And with my goggles steaming up within 2 minutes of setting off, I had to do the entire day without any eye protection.... absolute agony, and my eyes are still smarting now!
At times I was travelling virtually completely blind, hurtling at 80mph into nothingness, visibility virtually nil because of the spray, and with just a faint red glow of the rear light of the bike in front being about all I could see.
And on the A1, mile upon mile of juggernauts hogging the inside lane churned huge plumes of muddy water off the road into our faces as we passed them. I have to confess that a few times I was tempted simply to pull over and tell the other guys to go on without me. But then challenges were never meant to be easy.
Awful mishap nearly at the end of the trip when I took a wrong turning at Northampton, and ended up on the wrong motorway... fortunately the next junction was very close, so I was able to turn around and eventually got within yelling distance of the rest of them, but with my slight detour, then having to ride flat out to catch up, my bike ran out of petrol on the M4, 12 miles from home.... our final petrol fill-up had been calculated to JUST get us back home....
All ended well though, when the guys backtracked down the motorway to rescue me, and we all arrived back at the Radio Reading with minutes to spare, and the whole of Berkshire got to hear about my escapade! Oh the embarrassment.
My memories? Loads of really special ones, but overall, a sense of how much ‘Bugger all’ there is in this country of ours, and some of it is breathtakingly beautiful bugger all! And of the huge contrast between the relatively touristy and affluent bottom end of the country, and the stark desolation of the John O’Groats end.
Oh, and I’ve learnt that next time I should invest in a helmet with a visor...... just had a mate email me “Hey, you with the face like a baboon’s arse....”, and he’s not wrong!
Special thanks to all of my travelling companions, Colin, Sean, Linyl, Bryan, Mick and Phil. Couldn’t have done it without you.
Mik
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